With a fair bit of anguish, Grandparents Day at primary school was approaching. It doesn’t matter that the school has rebranded it ‘Grandfriend’s Day’ – We all know it’s meant to be a grandparent that the kids can show off their desk, room, and gorgeous works of art. The fact is it gives me pain that we just don’t have a grandparent around to send to my daughter’s year one class and it has caused more than a few tears for me. My daughter is a compassionate and sensitive type. She has a real radar for distress in any human or animal. So while I thought I was being masterfully grown up, and hiding my sadness, she still picked up on it. In the days leading up to the big day, she spontaneously shed some tears herself that she for the grandparents she never got to meet and that she wouldn’t be able to perform the dance for at their morning tea. I didn’t know whether to comfort her or just cry myself, and ended up doing both. We acknowledged the sadness and talked about how she would get to share someone else’s grandparent. Her teacher had told me best not to pre organize anything, as there would tend to be a natural fit on the day with someone else’s nice grandparent.
And then something miraculous happened at our breakfast table. But first let me tell you where the yoga philosophy comes in. The Yoga Sutras, the ancient codification of how yoga works, tells us vastu-samye citta-bhedat tayor vibhaktah panthah (Chapter 4:15)
It means: Due to differences in various minds, perception of even the same object may vary.
So basically, this sutra tells us that we create our own realities. Your mind manifests differently to others and you will view things according to your own state of mind and projections. And in this way, everything is empty and appears according to how you see it.
Wow! How powerful does this make you!! It lets you take responsibility for your life. It elevates you from victim mode to liberation. No ‘poor me’. No blame game. Instead this sutra gives you freedom and strength. And with the empowerment of this freedom and strength, comes the responsibility and encouragement to consciously co-create the world you want to live in.
So, on the morning of Grandparents day, what was the heart opening miracle that occurred during breakfast? I was expecting some discussion of it, a bit of sadness and a little pep talk. Instead what I got was bubbly enthusiasm from my very social and people loving daughter. Out of the blue, she announced excitedly how much she was looking forward to it. She told me how wonderful it was that she would get to meet a new person that day, as she would meet someone else’s grandparent. What a fantastic attitude! My heart opened. Again I felt moved to tears, but happy ones. (in our house we call that craughing – when you laugh so much you cry). My daughter had just shown me how she could view something positively. And reminded me of the concept of emptiness. It was up to her to choose how she wanted to view it. And she chose magnificently.
As a bonus I got to drop her at the school gate knowing she would have a great day. We’ve all smiled wryly at that witticism, ‘Insanity is hereditary – you get it from your children.’ But wonderfully, our children give us the most extraordinary opportunities to heal and I thank my gorgeous eldest daughter for this chance from the bottom of my heart.
-Christina
PS thanks for your kind enquries everyone. Yes, my latest book got completed on time. We’re doing the photoshoot this month for it and watch out for it on the shelves in January!