Last weekend we were greeted at the entrance by a friendly man in fairy wings and a magnificent kingly crown. Huge butterfly fairies on stilts floated past. A passing magician stopped to entertain the kids with sleight of hand tricks. We enjoyed the sausage sizzle and afterwards were offered popcorn and fairy floss. Was it a kids party? Nope. A school fete? Negative. An early Spring fair? Wrong again. Instead, we were at the hardware store researching paint colours.
I’ve been thinking a lot about self-perception. And it’s partner misperception. And this was the icing on the cake. When a billion dollar hardware chain masquerades as a fairy party, what can we rely on for certain? It feels even harder for us to get a true understanding of who we are.
For the last few months, every film they watch, our daughters need to decide amongst themselves who will be which character. It feels important they divide up just who will be who and guides how they relate to the film. Fortunately for household peace they realised quickly that they can both share being the same princess. Mummy and Daddy gets given their allocation too. (Usually I get to share being a princess but the other day, after having been asked many times to brush her hair my five year old announced I was more ‘like a step mother’!) It all gets me wondering how we form our identity and just who do we take ourselves to be. And why do I so easily want to disown that snappy part of me under the spell of pmt ? Declaring I am ‘not myself’, I treat that premenstrual phase as if that was not a part of me but belonged to someone else?
So we can identify with the wrong stuff (like Disney princesses ) and seek to dis-identify with other parts of our being which we wish weren’t part of us (PMT bit). We present ourselves to the world as neat put together packages. Then we judge others from that standpoint and all of this creates friction in our relationships (especially that vital relationship – to our own self).
False identification is an important theme in the yoga sutras. It’s called asmita. And it arises when we over-identify with the superficial, changeable aspects of us (our aging skin, wanting a different car, the desire to be a princess) instead of connecting with the our constant, unchanging nature. In yogic philosophy this pure nature is called purusa, Also called the ‘seer’ which sees the world, It is the Self and you can think of it like an inner voice guiding you along the path.
Suffering will occur when we identify with the changing aspects of ourselves too closely. We seek to define ourselves in the way that society brands successful. Misperception happens when the mind receives erroneous sensory input from the world around us – skinny younger magazine models, richer acquaintances, or just a trip to Bunnings. Asmita occurs when we try to present as something we are not or be drawn towards that which is not really our deeper truth. Any of this impermanence will always change. It’s out of our control so we just won’t be able to maintain it. And the changes will feel upsetting and create pain.
Happily, the parusha remains stable no matter what. Now whether we feel that constant connection is another matter. How can we do this?
We would really do well to set ourselves up to best to maintain our connection with the unchangeable, permanent truth of our pure untainted nature. When we meditate or practice yoga regularly we predispose ourselves to this experience. One student told me how everything ‘felt right with the world’ after yoga. I think he was meaning he touched that pure unchangeable inner truth. You might feel closer to it when resting at the end of your yoga class, or maybe you have a contemplative activity like walking in nature. For sure if you meditate regularly and experience it close by then.
So when a hardware shop becomes a fair ground, when vegemite gets cheesy, when this week our supermarket bought peanut butter arrived with maple syrup already mixed into it, the studio can offer two options which may help.
- Join our meditation course starting Friday. Slowing the mind, and opening a space for contemplation can help so much in this busy busy world.
- Come join us to learn about your blend of ayurvedic elements which define your special attributes and ways. At first glance it might sound like another way to pigeon hole ourselves and others, but it’s way bigger than that. It’s a fascinating world which can lead us to compassionate understanding of all beings, improve our health in amazingly simple ways. I love it and I hope you will too!
Good luck connecting,
– Christina