Family is a vital part of your life that contributes to your wellbeing and view of the world. When you have dealt with the feelings of loss for someone who was your support in the family, grief never goes away entirely, and there are moments that can trigger that sadness all over again.
I’d like to share one of those moments with you right now, but also tell you how my daughter helped me heal during this difficult time with focus and feeling.
With a fair bit of anguish, Grandparents Day at her primary school was approaching. It doesn’t matter that the school has rebranded it ‘Grandfriend’s Day’ – We all know it’s meant to be a grandparent that the kids can show off their triumphant learning and gorgeous works of art.
The fact is it gave me pain that we just didn’t have a grandparent handy to send to my daughter’s year one class and it caused more than a few tears for me.
My daughter is a compassionate and sensitive type. She has a real radar for distress in any human or animal. So while I thought I was being masterfully grown up, and hiding my sadness, she still picked up on it.
In the days leading up to the big day, she spontaneously shed some tears herself for the grandparents she never got to meet and that she wouldn’t be able to perform for for at the special morning tea.
I didn’t know whether to comfort her or just cry myself, and ended up doing both. We acknowledged the sadness and talked about how on the day she would be getting to share someone else’s grandparent. Her teacher had told me best not to pre-organize anything, as there would tend to be a natural fit on the day with someone else’s nice grandparent.
And then something miraculous happened at our breakfast table.
But first let me tell you where the yoga philosophy comes in. The Yoga Sutras, the ancient codification of how yoga works, tells us vastu-samye citta-bhedat tayor vibhaktah panthah (Chapter 4:15)
It means: Due to differences in various minds, perception of even the same object may vary.
Basically, this sutra tells us that we create our own realities. Your mind manifests differently to others and you will view things according to your own state of mind and projections. And in this way, everything is empty and appears according to how you see it.
Wow! How powerful does this make you!!
It helps you take responsibility for your life. It elevates you from victim mode to liberation. No ‘poor me’. No blame game. Instead this sutra gives you freedom and strength, and with the empowerment of this freedom and strength, comes the responsibility and encouragement to consciously co-create the world you want to live in.
I love this sutra because it reminds us to remain positive about whatever issue you are grappling with.
At the studio, we find most people over 30 are living with some issue or another. An old shoulder injury they need to work around. Modifications required due to arthritis. A neck issue they need extra support with. Back pain they are healing.
I consistently find our visitors to be, remarkable positive vibrant people who want to make the most of their life. It’s just not an option for us to stay home on the sofa for the rest of our lives!!
So, it’s important to find the ‘workarounds’ that allow us to manage with grace, and even when working around any limitations this sutra reminds us to maintain a healthy mindset.
It teaches to always take a wider world view. It is also about playing the long game. I feel that reminds us to savour the good stuff.
It encourages us to take care of ourselves. Sometimes work harder. Sometimes to rest up. Sometimes forced to discover a new path, and to always to be patient with yourself and allow for infinite kindness.
So, on the morning of Grandparents day, what was the heart opening miracle that occurred during breakfast? I was expecting some discussion of it, a bit of sadness and a little pep talk. Instead what I got was bubbly enthusiasm from my very social and people loving daughter.
Out of the blue, she announced excitedly how much she was looking forward to it. She told me how wonderful it was that she would get to meet a new person that day, as she would meet someone else’s grandparent. What a fantastic attitude! My heart opened.
Again I felt moved to tears, but happy ones. (in our house we call it craughing – when you laugh so much you cry). My daughter had just shown me how she could view something positively. She reminded me of the concept of emptiness.
It was up to her to choose how she wanted to view it. And she chose magnificently.
As a bonus I got to drop her off at the school gate knowing she would have a great day.
We’ve all smiled wryly at that witticism, ‘Insanity is hereditary – you get it from your children.’ But wonderfully, our children give us the most extraordinary opportunities to heal and for this chance I thank my gorgeous daughter from the bottom of my heart.
Changing your mindset and approach to life are key elements in successfully changing your life patterns and habits towards a healthier lifestyle. This ethos is what Transform has instilled into the teachings of our classes.
If you need any help choosing a lifestyle plan that suits your needs or have any questions about what Transform has to offer your mind, body and soul, please feel free to contact us anytime by clicking this link.